Swift Leaks

It's rare for a private banker to feel like the world revolves around him. We do too much scurrying after clients to suffer that illusion. But just occasionally a warm sensation comes over one as it becomes clear that it is the client who has done the scurrying. This being a very straightforward money-measured business, the richer the client the warmer the sensation.

An American client, JL, came to see me this morning. He is, let's say, a captain of industry on the East Coast, an exceedingly dignified and busy man. He keeps about thirty million dollars with us - perhaps a tenth of his total liquid wealth. I've never really established his reasons, but thirty million is a nice lump to have. My occasional suggestions that he might like to place more with us have always been met with silence. Money comes in and goes out, but the balance remains the same.

When I asked what brought him to England, he looked at me rather peculiarly and said, 'You'. Obviously. 'You've come all this way to discuss your portfolio?' But he was agitated and not in the mood to answer questions. 'This Swift thing,' he said. 'It's a disgrace.' 'Indeed, it is,' I said. 'You Europeans need more spine,' he said. 'We sure do,' I agreed. 'You should stand up to us,' he continued. 'We really should,' I nodded vigorously.

'This Swift thing', in case you're not aware, is the latest attack on privacy justified by the War on Terror. SWIFT is the Belgian financial messaging company across whose wires a large proportion of European transactions are conducted. They have an inordinate amount of information on European money flows, and they've recently been shown to be slavishly supplying the whole lot to the CIA. Pressures have been brought to bear by Washington, but still it's inexcusable and deeply worrying for several of my clients.

Not that I'd expected it to be a problem for JL.

'I have a problem,' he said. 'Oh?' I said. 'Some of my transfers,' he said. 'I would hate for them to be seen by my government.' 'Oh,' I said.

I've always hated this bit, although there's also an undeniable morbid fascination to a client's sudden confession. Everyone, even the most unlikely people, seem to have skeletons.

'Look, it's much better not to tell me if the money's coming from some unconventional source.' We have these neat little words that make 'illegal' sound so much more palatable. They trip off the tongue so easily after a few years in this job.

'The source is fine,' he said, 'It's where it's going.' 'Oh,' I said. 'Senators,' he said. 'Oh dear,' I said. 'Right,' he said.

So that's his little secret. The reason we enjoy his business. A neat little offshore operation to [excised in a moment of paranoia brought on by the FT]. Well, there are various solutions, most of which involve getting his funds even further offshore - to a handy Pacific Island perhaps. The challenge now is to convince him we can still handle it. We're actually very good at establishing concealed trusts in far-off hot places, so I'm hopeful we'll keep the business. There's not a lot I can do about his transactions to date though. Fingers crossed the US Treasury and the CIA have more important things to look for.