Down with the Rich

We seem to be enjoying a resurgence of millionaire-bashing by the Labour Party, as they change their indistinguishable guard, and the feral media, incensed over this private equity nonsense. Presumably it will pass, as indignation in the face of the rich always seems to pass in this country, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let the opportunity to stick my oar in drift by unsnatched.

Let's be grossly simplistic here:

1. No one should pay more tax than they absolutely have to.

2. The rich are able to afford people like me to ensure they abide by 1, even if less well remunerated people do not.

3. This may seem grotesquely unfair, but it is neither a. illegal or b. immoral according to any intelligible natural order.

4. If you want to make the rich pay more tax, you need only persuade the (Socialist) politicians to change the tax code, a thing they are most unlikely to do given how fluid global capital is these days and how quickly it can vanish from an environment that develops hostile characteristics.

The truth is, objecting to the rich is about as productive an occupation as striking one's head repeatedly against a building one has taken a dislike to. Believe me - I've loathed enough of them in my time. And let us not forget that the richer they become, the more likely they are to hire plumbers to install jacuzzis, beauticians to paint their dogs' toenails, and astrologers to advise their children on the seating plans for their fourth birthday parties. It is a myth, these days at least, that the rich do not spend their money. Much as I would love them all to keep every penny locked away under my management, very few do.

And who knows? Your very own most hated billionaire may be about to donate half his net wealth to your favourite charity. It's happening more and more, it grieves me to say.