Friday 4 January 2008

Resolution no. 010108

New Year's Resolutions.

I'm in favour, actually, and have even kept a few down the ages. I've made three this year, two of which are still goers. The association with Jan 1 is arguably rather childish, but they're useful arbitrary kicks to one's own backside.

I'm less enthusiastic about being subjected to other people's resolutions. So far this week I have received 23 group emails from colleagues informing me of their 2008 pledges. Someone started it with a trite missive about his new teetotalism (were we being invited to applaud or commiserate?), and this started a rash of follow-up emails, office-wide, documenting the abstentions, enforcements or reinstigations that have been sworn to this week.

Most sensible: "Never again trust the FSA"

Most optimistic: "Achieve double-digit growth for my clients' portfolios"

Most pessimistic: "Hold onto job until birthday (date unspecified)"

Most snide: "Remember to sense check analysis eminating (sic) from the equities team"

Most political: "Make more effort to share information with colleagues and look for opportunities to assist them when they are struggling"

Most bizarre: "Be more red than blue"

Most laughable: "Be kind, selfless, sensitive and soulful" (this is a private banker we're talking about)

And mine? Surely you don't care? I wouldn't.

Since you insist, they concern foie gras, treasury bonds, and being nice to my wife. The first two are yet to be tested.

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