Retailed into Early Retirement

My absolute favourite quote of the year so far: Peter Bennett, the "Deputy City Surveyor" (whatever that is) while proposing a new retail mega-development on Cheapside, said of people crossing the Millenium Bridge to the City, “Instead of turning left to God, they can turn right to Mammon.”

What makes this a particularly delectable quote is the innocent suggestion that there is something new in this. St Paul's may have been there for centuries, but we've never had anything tainted by the reek of money at the other end of Cheapside. Does this deputy not realize what goes on in the City he claims to survey? No, I'm being unfair. It's a lovely soundbite, even without that irony. Good for you, Peter.

That, however, is as far as my enthusiasm goes.

One of the things I've always liked about London is the separation of activities by geography. Entertainment in the West End, shopping in Knightsbridge and Oxford Street, politics in Westminster, art and diplomacy in Mayfair, sex in Soho, dormitories in Fulham, Clapham and the rest. And in the City of London, finance. Well, why ruin it by mixing things up? It's bad enough having to travel to Picadilly to see the private equity lot. Retail in the City? Worse - cheap retail on Cheapside? It's an horrendous idea.

Imagine if the banks suddenly decided to build trading floors on the King's Road, or in Camden Lock, or Covent Garden. The howls of protest that would come from retailers! That's how I will feel seeing Brent Cross materialise beside the Bank of England. Who cares if the City is empty at weekends? This is a holy place for some of us. The last thing we want is cut-price tracksuits and barbie dolls stockpiled within yards of the Stock Market.

Call me a snob - I am, probably, in your terms - but I hate this plan. I cannot for the life of me see the need for MORE mass market retail space in London. All these shopping chains are already duplicated in every corner of the capital. And yes, I will admit, I loathe the idea of new crowds being drawn to the City. The occasional lost tourist is fine; a horde of Stepney and Peckham discount shoppers pouring across the Thames in search of a bargain would drive me to early retirement.

So please, Mr Deputy City Surveyor, take your fine plans south of the river. We like the City the way it is.