Much mirth has been had at LL's expense, over the five-pound note business, and I regret to say he has not taken it well.

The last straw was the freshman colleague who, passing LL's desk, asked, 'Has that stolen cash turned up yet?' An innocent question you might think, even if the look of concern was somewhat insincere. LL did not take it as such. He happened to be on the phone to a client at the time, and considers the possibility that said client heard the quip too awful for words.

LL has now taken the case to senior management. The following memo has been issued: Jokes about theft in this bank will not be tolerated. This is a highly serious matter.

Of course it is.